


Incessant

by witchchester



Series: Talking with You [1]
Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e03 Psy vs. Psy, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Shawn Spencer has ADHD, Shules, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25498531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchchester/pseuds/witchchester
Summary: “Lindsay knew you were getting too close. When she realized you liked her, she manipulated you into thinking the feeling was mutual.” A part of her knew Shawn wouldn’t want to hear any of this, but it was too important to let go. “If you had known the truth, you… wouldn’t have slept with her.”Realization fell over both of them. Juliet wasn’t sure if they reached the same conclusion, but for her, saying everything out loud connected the dots. The situation was a lot worse than she originally thought. She squeezed his hands before delicately rubbing his sore knuckles with her thumbs.“That’s assault, Shawn.”—Or the one where Juliet realizes two things: what Lindsay did to Shawn is unforgivable, and Shawn might just be the strongest person she knows. Set shortly after 2x03.
Relationships: Juliet O'Hara/Shawn Spencer
Series: Talking with You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046953
Comments: 14
Kudos: 90





	Incessant

**Author's Note:**

> After I watched the new movie, I decided to rewatch Psych. When I finished 2x03 (Psy vs. Psy), I couldn't believe how they framed Shawn and Lindsay's night together. I know she mentioned she 'thought they had something,' but I don't buy it. I know it's meant to be a comedy, but I just hate when shows try to laugh off toxic interactions.
> 
> Also, the fact that Lindsay purposely broadcasted what happened to Shawn's co-workers? I hate her. I hate her so bad. I had to write this. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.
> 
> **TW: Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault**

“I have the right to feel weird about this, don’t I?”

The sound of Shawn’s voice made Juliet pause, her fingers hovering over her keyboard.

Normally, she tried not to feed into the psychic’s antics. Talking to him was a lot like taking a misguided adventure: somewhat fascinating, but way too time-consuming. Having a simple and short conversation with him was practically impossible. They always turned into hour-long tangents and on the clock, Juliet couldn’t spare the minutes.

Even if sometimes, she really — _really_ — wanted to.

The question itself hadn’t been enough to alarm her, but the lack of excitement in his tone grabbed her attention. No matter what was going on, Shawn always spoke with too much volume and not enough composure. They’d suddenly flipped, leaving his voice quiet and colorless. If he wasn’t sitting in the desk next to hers, Juliet doubted she would’ve heard him.

They didn’t talk much outside of work, but Juliet still considered Shawn a close friend. She definitely cared enough to pry.

What could be bothering him? She gave herself a few moments to think it over, but the only thing that came to mind was their latest case. It wasn’t the most gruesome incident they’d dealt with, but it was somewhat off-putting. They had to arrest the federal ‘psychic’ assigned to work with them, and Shawn had slept with her before he knew.

Learning about their hookup made her feel almost unreasonably uneasy. She couldn’t decide which part bothered her more: the fact that it happened, or that Lindsay broadcasted it to their entire team. Either way, the whole thing was entirely out-of-line.

After pushing her chair in a little, she rested her arms against her desk. “You’re going to have to be more specific,” She softly countered. Distaste and concern were both flooding through her, so she purposely kept her eyes on her screen. She didn’t want her feelings to scare him away.

Juliet expected him to answer right away, but the space between them remained silent. Her worry increased just enough to have her glance away from her computer. To her dismay, Shawn wasn’t even looking in her direction. His attention was glued to his fumbling hands. Juliet scanned over them, taking note of the redness in his knuckles. How long had he been rubbing them? Why hadn’t she noticed?

His legs were bouncing too. When one went up, the other fell. Shawn Spencer and constant movement weren’t an unacquainted pair, but something was off. His usual energy had unmistakably been replaced by nerves.

She was seconds away from finding Gus when finally, he said something.

“I mean— I wanted her. Most people can’t keep up with me, but she could.”

So it was about Lindsay. Juliet’s lips curved into a small frown. Selfishly, she hadn’t thought about Shawn’s side of the situation. The moment they walked away from the plane, she forced herself to forget about it. Considering how quickly the psychic’s mind worked, Juliet thought he’d do the same.

She shouldn’t have made such a huge assumption. She knew first-hand that intelligence didn’t offer immunity to trauma.

“I just felt like we were on the same wavelength, you know? I thought she _understood_ me.”

The agony laced through his voice was painfully unexpected. Shawn had always been overly talkative, but he still kept himself closed off. He never openly talked about his feelings. If something made him uncomfortable, he immediately threw his hand into his bag of tricks. Every snide comment and shitty joke he pulled out put a little more distance between him and the problem.

If he wasn’t able to resort to his usual coping mechanism, something was really wrong. How had it gotten this far without her realizing it? Had she unintentionally ignored the signs?

Lindsay held a gun to his head— Why hadn’t she checked in with him?

Shawn lifted his hands, his fingers anxiously tapping against the desk. “I’ve made mistakes, Jules. _Tons_ of them, but none of them have made me feel this…”

He still wasn’t looking at her. Almost like he was ashamed to be bringing any of this up. The possibility made Juliet’s stomach twist.

Since he couldn’t seem to find the right word, Juliet quietly supplied him one: “Violated?” Shawn’s eyes shot up, silently confirming her prediction.

She was slightly taken back by how lost he looked. The psychic was always so present; Juliet had never seen him so distant.

“Yeah,” Shawn breathed out. He tried to pair it was a smile, but it fell short. “I just don’t understand why I didn’t see it sooner. That’s literally my specialty.”

His words sent an unanticipated wave of sadness over her. Someone hurt him and he was upset because _he hadn’t seen it coming_.

Even worse, Juliet understood his route of thinking. The SBPD hired him on a case-by-case basis. His position with them depended on his ability to _correctly_ predict outcomes and find hidden connections. If he wanted Chief Vick to continue calling, he had to keep showing results. That meant always staying ahead and making close to no mistakes, even though he wasn’t given the same resources as her and Lassiter. She couldn’t imagine that kind of pressure for a week, let alone years.

On top of that, Shawn’s mind had to be in constant chaos. From what she knew, his visions were unpredictable, draining, and sometimes painful. Just watching his extravagant displays exhausted her; experiencing them had to be so much worse.

Outside of his abilities, based on her observations, he fit most of the criteria for ADHD. Just about the whole department was aware of his impulsivity, overexcitability, and inattention. She thought about talking to Shawn about it – medicine could _really_ benefit him – but it could potentially affect his position with the station. Juliet knew Shawn well enough to know he would never take that risk.

As she stared at his obstacles, she began to understand why he behaved the way he did. Acting immaturely seemed to be his only working coping mechanism, and the problems he had weren’t escapable. He had to deal with their consequences every minute of every day.

Juliet hadn’t been giving him enough credit.

“Listen, Shawn— Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. I would feel weird too.” She kept her voice gentle. “But..”

Juliet had gotten used to the pauses in their conversation, but Shawn immediately responded. “But what?” He sounded borderline desperate. Juliet wished she knew what he was looking for

She chose her next words carefully. “This isn’t on you.” As soon as her mouth closed, Shawn’s gaze fell. Nothing she said would matter if he wasn’t listening. Using her feet, she wheeled her chair closer to his. She then gently took both of his hands into hers, stopping them from moving. The forced stillness brought his attention back to her.

“Lindsay knew you were getting too close. When she realized you liked her, she manipulated you into thinking the feeling was mutual.” A part of her knew Shawn wouldn’t want to hear any of this, but it was too important to let go. “If you had known the truth, you… wouldn’t have slept with her.”

Realization fell over both of them. Juliet wasn’t sure if they reached the same conclusion, but for her, saying everything out loud connected the dots. The situation was a lot worse than she originally thought. She squeezed his hands before delicately rubbing his sore knuckles with her thumbs.

“That’s assault, Shawn.” It was her turn to be soft-spoken. Talking to victims was a big piece of her job, but this wasn’t the same. This was _Shawn_. This was the man who smiled at her every morning he came in. This was the guy who would pay for her lunch with his last twenty. This was the person she couldn’t imagine working without.

Another long period of nothing passed before Shawn whispered “Maybe.” It wasn’t complete acceptance, but it wasn’t denial either. Juliet saw it as a step in the right direction. “—But I still should’ve seen it.”

She squeezed his hands again. “You might be a psychic, but you aren’t omniscient. You only see so much.” Juliet wasn’t entirely sure how his abilities worked, but she could stand by that statement. Shawn’s visions had never shown him everything. Otherwise, he would know the name of every murderer _before_ he got entangled with the investigation.

Shawn still seemed unsure, but he didn’t offer any rebuttals. Hopefully, that meant he was at least thinking about her side. She wasn’t expecting him to fully agree with everything; it was never that easy.

“You’ve made some strong points.” He cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter. Juliet could almost physically see him boxing everything that hurt away. Their short conversation wouldn’t complete his healing, but it was a starting point. If Shawn let her, she would follow him through it. He deserved to have someone fighting with him, no matter what that meant.

“I’m glad you let me make them.” Shawn finally showed a real smile, and Juliet couldn’t help but return it. He was the type of person — bright, benevolent, boisterous — that belonged smiling.

Realizing she was still holding his hands, she slowly let go of them. Neither of them would admit to it, but both of their cheeks changed shades.

From behind them, she could hear Chief Vick’s door opening. Knowing she was about to lose him, she quickly added in “If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.”

Shawn had turned to look towards the office, but he twisted back. His lips formed another grin. “I know. Thanks, Jules.”

Just like clockwork, as soon as Chief Vick stepped out, Shawn was on his feet. It was as if his momentary break had never occurred. She could almost feel his bubbling energy from her seat as he shouted “Chief Vick! Gorgeous day we’re having, isn’t it?”

As she watched them return to the office — Chief Vick walking, Shawn sprinting with small jumps scattered between steps — Juliet saw something she hadn’t before: immense strength.

Looking past the chaos, it shined through every joke and idea he shared. It presented itself through his choice to be kind, as he had every reason to be bitter. He took his pain with stride and used it to fuel his work, and a lot of people weren’t capable of that.

With a faint smile across her cheeks, Juliet stood up. She couldn’t take away Shawn’s difficulties, but she could try and make things a little easier. After she grabbed one of the files off her desk, she rushed into the office.

“Chief— I was just going over the Dotson case. I really think we could use Shawn’s expertise for this.”

She could feel Shawn’s eyes on her, but she kept hers on Chief Vick. She was given one hard look before the chief gestured to the folder she was carrying.

“Show him what you got.”


End file.
